From Sorrow To Success

Donald L. Dowridge’s life is an open book. He doesn’t hide his past – the fact that he was abused as a child, his multiple attempts at suicide, the short time he spent in a mental hospital, or his years of psychotherapy. In fact, he outlines his early struggles in “The Power of Being a W-I-N-N-E-R,’’ his latest motivational book in which he shares the keys to a successful life despite obstacles.

Dowridge, founder and CEO of DLD (Determined to Learn and Develop) Enterprises based in Tampa, also shares his experiences during the many seminars and presentations he does around the country. His consulting firm specializes in executive and personal coaching and youth mentoring. Dowridge eagerly shares how his life changed from one of sorrow to one of success.

A primary goal of the 57-year-old is “to empower and build hope’’ in young people, especially young African-American males.

“I have the opportunity to work with a lot of young people,” Dowridge told the Florida Courier. “I work with a lot of kids who, unfortunately, are going through it. Not to the extent that I went through it, but I let them know if I overcame it, you can overcome it.’’

Advice for men: Open up

Dowridge, who received a degree in marketing in 1995, dropped out of school at an early age, joined a gang and ended up in a juvenile corrections program. He was court-ordered to see a therapist, whom he gives some credit for helping him turn his life around. He has sage words for people, especially Black males, who are reluctant to seek help for their emotional and mental turmoil.

Through DLD Enterprises, he helps others who might be on the brink of depression or even suicide. He admits that while Black men are opening up more, mental health is still a taboo subject.

“We’ve come a long way with that subject. I think African-American males are reluctant to talk about it outside of the family. AIDS was a hush-hush subject that was within the family. If you keep it in the family, it just leads to more depression,” he explained.

He says men need to learn to open up, share their feelings and get the help they need.
“While you’re bearing and grinning it, you’re killing yourself, turning to alcohol, drugs, beating up your wife, you can’t keep a relationship,’’ he explains.

Dowridge, who regularly attends church services, says faith and prayer are essential.

However, he notes that some people facing mental health issues must seek professional help.

“They need somebody right in the flesh who knows what time it is, who can give some direction. They might fall on their knees and pray,” he said, “but they need someone to help them cope with the situation.’’

Drank bleach, did drugs

Dowridge lived in five foster homes as a kid and suffered physical, mental and sexual abuse.

In 1968, at age 12, he was taken out of his harsh and violent foster care existence in Baltimore and sent to the South Bronx in New York. There, he lived six more harsh and abusive years at the hands of his biological father and stepmother.

He quickly rattles off the ways he tried to commit suicide.

“I drank bleach. I walked out in front of oncoming traffic. I jumped out of a six-floor window. I jumped out of an oncoming bus,” he remembers.

He had no access to a gun and said he never tried to use a knife on himself. Someone would always intervene during these attempts, he told the Florida Courier.

He was incarcerated at age 13 and became hooked on drugs and alcohol.

“I was quick to catch a temper,” he shared. I had a lot of hate in me because of everything that had been done to me. If you said something wrong to me, I was coming at you. I didn’t want to live anyway. If you came after me, so what?’’

No shame

Court-ordered to see a therapist, at age 15 he began getting counseling every Wednesday on the fourth floor of the Empire State Building.

“Ain’t no shame in my game,’’ Dowridge says with a laugh. “I definitely went to see counselors with the issues I had going on. Amen. Hallelujah. Thank God.’’

Dowridge said he often would utter self-defeating words: “I am a nobody. Nobody loves me. I quit. Why is this happening to me? I’m not worthy.’’

Crying and beating himself in the head with his fists would follow.

“I would take an open hand and slap myself just as hard as I could…think about a person who is going through that. You usually find that person in a tub of water with a slashed wrist.’’

Or he added, “that person would get a gun, kill himself and others.’’

School, Army, work

At age 17, Dowridge moved to Tampa. Along with counselors, he credits the Rev. Walter Crawford of College Hill Mennonite Church in Tampa, the late Rev. Arthur Jones of Tampa, and a caring godmother for helping him get his life on track.

Dowridge attended night school to get his high school diploma. He went into the Army in 1978 and stayed there five and half years. He later received his college degree and worked at the U.S. Postal Service for about 11 years, then retired to run his business full-time.

Also a Black history buff, Dowridge is an expert on Frederick Douglass and does a one-man show on the famous abolitionist. He has spotlighted Douglass’ life on performing arts stages, in classrooms, churches, at business events. His one-man show has taken him to stages in Detroit, Baltimore, Queens, New York and Washington, D.C.

Relating to Douglass

Dowridge shared how slavery took a mental toll on Douglass and how the abolitionist even considered suicide.

In Frederick Douglass’s first autobiography, “Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave,” Douglass describes the beatings and punished inflicted on him by his ‘master,’ a White man named Covey. Douglass eventually fights back.

“It took a toll on him. He had to build up his strength to fight his master back. His master had beat him so severely,” Dowridge said about Douglass.

In the autobiography, Douglass states, “Mr. Covey succeeded in breaking me. I was broken in body, soul, and spirit. My natural elasticity was crushed, my intellect languished, the disposition to read departed, the cheerful spark that lingered about my eye died; the dark night of slavery closed in upon me; and behold a man transformed into a brute.’’

“He was whipping Frederick every day to break him. Eventually he broke him. He was annihilated,”
Dowridge stated. “His psyche was destroyed. Even when he became prominent, he was still dealing with it. … He wrote speeches with a rebellious mind all the way until 1895 until age 77 when he dropped dead. He never stopped agitating.’’

Slave mentality’

Dowridge notes that when he travels around the country, he witnesses the despair of fellow Black men, many of whom are impacted by the trauma in their lives.

“You can see a greater picture of it when you travel to Northern states. From the young brother to the elder brother, they’re in a daze, like they’re in a trance. They find themselves on the lower rung. Some are still living with the slave mentality.’’

“It can go way back to the slave era. When in order to control the slave, you threatened them with a whip. You whipped them and set them up for total failure. The master is only going to control me. The only way I see my freedom is to be with God.’’

Always sharing

Whether through his empowerment seminars or Black History lectures, Dowridge makes it his mission to present his messages in humorous, entertaining, compassionate and dramatic fashion. He also is the former co-host of a gospel-based cable TV show and has written volumes of poetry and motivational stories that he often shares in his presentations.

“In mostly every setting I’m behind the mike, I get asked repeatedly about my childhood. What steps did I take to move on with my life? Kids want to know, and adults,” Dowridge said, adding how adults “who are not incarcerated’’ still want to be free.

“They are in their late 20, 30s, 40s, even 60s seeking answers to their freedom from bondage. Something happened when they were 8, 9, 10 that’s depriving them. They’re paranoid of what happened all those many years,” he explained.

Because of his busy schedule, the husband and father rarely has time to reflect on his life when he contemplated ending it.

“I am so happy that those days are behind me. I’m always busy. … I keep it moving because my life today is how can I use my life and my mistakes to help somebody else.’’

For more information about Donald L. Dowridge and DLD Enterprises, visit www.dldenterprises.org.

Jenise Griffin Morgan, senior editor of the Florida Courier, is a 2013-14 fellow of the Rosalynn Carter Fellowships for Mental Health Journalism. She can be reached at Jmorgan@flcourier.com.